Out to deep waters

The walls in my room are empty of pictures and decorations and all that's left to my room is my clothes and shoes and a few things. It's a sign that the end here has come but that there are so many great adventures ahead of me. I don't know where this year flew to, but I'm done with college now, WOO! 

It's probably a good thing that the past few weeks flew by because senioritis was a real thing and writing papers and doing projects, that was something that became real low priority. But, the grades are in and they turned out A-okay! 

Looking back at this time even just last week, my life did about a 360 in just a few days. Somehow, everything seemed to fall into place all at once. I knew my last day of my internship was going to be last Friday, but I still didn't have a job. I was waiting to hear back from one of the interviews I'd had, but I'd only done one interview for the position I wanted, so I thought I'd have to hear back to line up the second interview if I were to get one. I didn't know if it'd work out and I didn't know if I should still keep my job here, but I still decided that Friday would be my last day. I was more than a little nervous when I left work without really knowing what I was doing, but I just had a feeling that it'd be okay. That afternoon, I received an email informing me that I'd been offered a position for the job.

The next day, I accepted the offer and it felt as if a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Not to mention, the same day, I also turned in my last two papers and was completely done with school. Whew. Last weekend a family friend got married, so it was a good beginning to my first weekend free of worrying about studying, papers, and school. 

There's something about weddings that get me every time. I'm a huge sap, so seeing them look at each other and being so in love just about melts my heart. Not to mention the night before I'd gotten to meet the new baby on our block, so my heart was just overwhelmed by precious things. As much as technology and society have challenged today's chivalry and romance, it's good to see two people with a Christ-centered relationship who are going to conquer the world together. So on top of relief from the week, my heart was warmed by the love surrounding everyone that night.

It got even better when I was able to spend most of that night at the reception with a good family friend. He's like an uncle to me and whenever we're together, it's always a great time, and that night was one a good one to say the least. As we talked about my job, we also got to talking about his dad, who'd been like a grandpa to me. That conversation reminded me that I'd be fine no matter what I do, now and in the future. He was the one that always encouraged me to believe in myself.. That if I don't, then why should anyone else? Cheers to him! I know that he's watching down over me and I believe in myself with all that I can and strive to give my all to everyone around me everyday to make him proud. 

The last week of my internship I got a little emotional. I was talking with one of my co-workers about everything going on in my life and kind of freaking out a little. He told me that he was seeing a side of me that he hadn't seen before- because I was reaching for something that I normally wouldn't, that was outside of my comfort zone, something that'd take me away from home for a little while. Though he said it wasn't a bad thing, it's a good thing to do something that scares me- I did get a little scared and questioned myself. I just remember Jerry and it goes away. I have to believe in myself and what I'm doing, and I'll be just fine. I'm so incredibly excited for this experience, but it'll also be my first time being more than a short drive away from home, so I know it'll get hard. The other day, one of my friends said that she couldn't do it. She said that whenever she reads my posts, she feels so inspired, but that she didn't know how I was doing it. 

I don't know when I got this courage. I know if you'd have told me last year that I was about to embark on this journey, I wouldn't have believed you. I was dead set on staying in BloNo after graduation. But, between little road trips, deep conversations with friends, and so many scary things happening to people, I realized that life is too precious and I need to do it now. It's only three months, and if I don't now, then I know that I won't. Everyone says that now is the time to travel, before I get married, before I have kids. And I know I'd like to do that in a few years, so there's no better time than now. When I went to Church this weekend, the sermon just so happened to be on sharing your story with other people and being a light for Christ in the world wherever you go. Coincidence? Maybe, but I think God knew that I needed to hear a little something that would reassure me. 

 I won't pretend that I'm not scared, because I am. I know that I don't have to be, so I try my best not to be. I know that God's watching over me, that He'll always be there when I'm excited, happy, sad, or lonely. I know that I'll be far from home and that there are people here I don't want to leave, but I know that technology will play a big part in keeping us close and I'll be able to share my journey with them just like I was beside them. 

I hope that I do inspire whoever reads this, and I hope that you, too, will find the courage within you to do something that challenges you. Whether it be with a job offer, a chance to go on a trip, a chance to tell someone how you feel, you never know what could come of it. What's the worst that could happen? Someone might tell you didn't get the job, that they don't have the same feelings for you, that they can't make this trip, but what are you really losing? There's other jobs out there, there's a man or woman that God created for you to be with, so if that one didn't work out then it wasn't the right person anyways. It's never the end because God has something planned for you that's probably bigger than you could've ever imagined. 

Sometimes I wish I could turn off my feelings so that I wouldn't get scared or my heart didn't have to care so much, but what fun would that be? My heart just likes to be there for people, to love deeply, to laugh obnoxiously, to take a chance on something that I normally wouldn't, to care for others even if they don't deserve it. Everyone needs someone to care, and I'd do anything to be that person for whoever I could. 

The way I see it, I'll be traveling to 40-45 car dealerships putting on test drive events. There will probably be quite a few people attending, and I'll be interacting with them throughout the day. If I can care for someone, bring even a little light to someones day, then just maybe I'll be able to make a difference in someones life. There's alot of people in this world and there's alot of chances you can take. So next time you're given an opportunity to do something or be with someone, don't let fear stop you. Let your faith be bigger than your fear, and God will do the rest. He's got your back, and He won't ever leave you.

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