I keep waiting for the motivation to write my paper to come to me; for the words I need to say to appear in the research somewhere in the sites I browse. I'll wait until tomorrow, I'll be a little less tired, I'll have more free time, I'll sit down and just get to it.. That's like me saying I'm waiting to start eating healthy again til after I eat this ice cream.. And anyone who knows me, knows I can't turn down ice cream, so the chances of that happening are probably nonexistent.
So is it hopeless waiting for things that may or may not happen? That's something that has been on my mind a lot lately. I read a blog last week about it and since then, there's been bits and pieces of everyday life that have opened my eyes to the amount of time we spend on a daily basis waiting for something.
Let's see, in a typical day, I wake up.. I eat and go to work, where I wait for the hours to pass until I go to class, where I wait until the time is up so I can go home, where I try to do a little work, but really I'm just thinking and waiting for the next thing- whether it be to go to the gym, bible study, dinner with a friend, homework, there's always something coming that I'll be waiting for.. And most importantly, my favorite moment of the day, when I don't have to wait any longer to crawl into my bed and get all cozy with my body pillow.
Some people wait for their loved home to get home from work, for a text that may or may not come, for a hug, for word from a potential employee whether they got the job, for happiness. It comes in such a variety of things that it's hard to look around and not see someone waiting for something.
Is there anything we can do about that? I don't want to waste my life waiting for things that might not happen. I don't want to miss an opportunity because I was waiting for something else that probably won't happen. Life is so short and I'm at a point in my life where I don't know what's coming next. Graduation is a few weeks away and for once, I don't have a set plan yet. It's not something I'm used to or comfortable with, but the past few weeks I've learned to trust God with whatever He has planned.
I've had interviews, and now I wait. And waiting can be the worst part.. Because when I wait, I think. I don't just think of one scenario though, no I imagine everything. What do I do if I don't get the job? What if I have to move somewhere where I don't know anyone? What if I give up this opportunity for that and it doesn't work out? What if, what if, what if.. It's been hard and I've tried to deal with it alone, but let me tell you how far that got me. It got as far as me giving up ice cream (which just doesn't go far).
One day, mid-day, I closed my bedroom door and laid on my bed in the dark and turned on some Britt Nicole and just laid there. I knew I couldn't do anything more, that everything after graduation was out of my control, and I just prayed. That God would lead me where He wants me, that I'd be open to whatever He has in store, that I not be afraid for the future, for strength, for courage. I just needed to breathe and let God take control.
The waiting didn't disappear after that. No, it's still here, loud and clear, but my perspective changed and I know that whatever happens, I'll be just fine. The outcome could be what I want, or it couldn't, but I just have to trust that it's for the best.
But that doesn't solve my question.. How can we stop wasting so much time waiting for things that we're unsure of? If you're given an opportunity, take it. There's only so many chances you get to go on a spontaneous trip, to say something to someone that you've always wanted to say, to travel alone and realize that it isn't as scary as you thought it'd be. If you compare yourself to someone because they seem to have everything that you one day hope to have- a cute little family, a nice car, a house, I guarantee you that they feel the same way. Just because they have everything that you want, doesn't mean they aren't waiting for something else.
If we stop reaching to have the next thing and pay attention to the here and now, to what's in front of us- to the sunrises, the sunsets, the stars and the moon, the people and opportunities around us, and stop waiting for tomorrow, I think we'd be living a life much more open and appreciative to what's around us.
One of my favorite movies when I was little was A Cinderella Story.. All of this talk about waiting reminds me of one of the quotes from it:
"“Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing."
So don't sit around and wait for something, because it might just disappoint you in the end. If you want to do something, do it if you can. You don't want to look back on your life and wish you had done something, said something, gone somewhere, and regret that you didn't.
God's given us this ability to make decisions. Let's not waste that, nor our ability to be able to go out into this world. We could wait for tomorrow, but why don't we just do it today? Nobody's promised tomorrow anyways, so use your time wisely and if you must wait because it's out of your control, do things in the meantime that will bring light to this world and that you'll look back and smile on when you're older; at least that's what I'm learning as I go through this crazy life.
Do you ever wonder if you’ve ever changed someone’s life? Whether something you said or did really could have impacted them in a way that they could never forget? It’s crazy to think that just a smile or a friendly hello could be the one thing that someone needed that day to make it better. What about the example you lead in your daily life? Do you ever think that the way you talk to other people, the way you handle yourself, the way you handle happy times and bad times could be the only thing that someone has to look up to, and your responses could dictate the way they handle whatever it is they’re dealing with in their life.
I started my spring break officially last night, and today I felt like a grown up. I went to work all day, came home and went to the gym, made dinner, and then ended up going back to the gym later because my roommate wanted to. I didn't have any studying to worry about, and there was nothing else to do. After I did enough squats, leg presses, calf raises, and lunges to make my legs feel like jello, I showered then made some hot cocoa and layed down and finally finished a book I had been reading.
The dreaded question everyone loves to ask, starting freshman year of college but more frequently as time passes and now it's an almost daily question by at least one person.. "What are you doing after graduation?" Well there are alot of options out there,but I'm still working on that.
I've learned that by trusting God through every high and low, every decision, every interaction, I've gained a new sense of calm. I'm one of the most anxious people ever, but I've been trying to work on that because I know that worrying will not do anything to help any situation. It takes the happy out of the day, and all it does is drain my energy. I know that God has control over everything in my life, so worrying about something won't change the outcome. Everything happens according to His plan, in His timing. It's not something new to Him. It's new to us, but it's simply unfolding to Him. He's known what you were going to say to that impatient person in line at the store today, what you were going to eat for breakfast, and who was going to be born today since the beginning of time. He knows what your future holds and He knows what mine holds, we must be patient and put our trust in Him while we seek out what He has planned.
So in the meantime, find something you love to do and do it. If you find what you're passionate about, you'll wake up excited for work in the morning. Enjoy life and the people around you, because over time people will be moving and life will probably take you in different directions. Nobody knows what tomorrow brings, so tell those who mean something to you that you appreciate them. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, you can even just send them a text. The past year has taught me that lesson the most, as a few young and old friends passed away. It's been eye-opening and hard, but has also showed me how precious life is. So whatever you're going through, have faith and trust that whatever is going on is all according to God's plan for you, just be all ears and try to listen to what He's trying to tell you❤️