When i grow up

Today someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I mean, technically, I’m 23, graduated from college, and have been employed, but that doesn’t have to mean that I’m grown up, right? Of course not. The way I see it, however much time I’m given on this earth, I’m still going to be growing up day by day.
 
I remember when I was little, I couldn’t wait to get older, and now my friends and I joke about those days. What in the world were we thinking?! What I wouldn’t do to hang out like my nieces do, watching cartoons, having someone to take care of you all the time, with their biggest worry being what the plans are for recess that day.
 
In the past year and a half, I’ve had five different jobs. Funny how I used to think I’d go to college, get a job, and make a life. Boy was I sure wrong. However, I’ve found myself enjoying doing different things, seeing what’s out there, and finding what I’m truly passionate about. I’v been able to find things I enjoy doing, things I could do everyday for the rest of my life and it not seem like work, and things I’d never want to do again.
 
Right now I’m a substitute teacher for our school district. I know what you’re thinking.. me.. a teacher? Haha, yeah.. I find it pretty hysterical myself. I’m the farthest thing from intimidating, I very very rarely raise my voice (and when I do, is it really raising my voice?), and I’m about the same height or shorter than most of the 8th graders I’ve taught.
 
So there I am, the front of the classroom, teaching kindergarteners math, answering questions about a social studies assignment, taking kids to the computer lab so they can do their typing assignments. Who would have thought? Not I, but it has grown on me.
 
Sometimes it’s absolutely insane to me the things that kids know about at different ages. But, if I can be there, help them and be a happy, positive influence in their day, then I’m going to do all that I can to show them that they’re valued, important, and can anything they put their minds to. So I get to be there for children, something I never thought I’d be able to do, but something I know I’ll appreciate having the experience of. Colossians 3:23 has been my go-to verse lately. “And whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord and not for men.” Some tasks might be my most favorite things, but I try to remember that I’m not doing it for myself or for the people around me. It keeps my heart where it should be and really does affect the attitude I have throughout every single day.
 
Sometimes we have our lives all planned out. We think we’ll do this then this then this. Go to school, get in a relationship, graduate, get a job, get married, start a family. But, that isn’t always what God has planned. Sometimes He will make you wait. Wait for the relationship, wait for the job, wait for the money, wait for another opportunity. Sometimes I feel like all I do is wait. It gets frustrating, especially when you always see people who are questioning what you’re doing with your life these days. I might not have it all figured out, but ya know what? I’m perfectly okay with that. You know, God’s timing is the absolute perfect timing. We might not agree with it and we might wish He’d hurry up with some things, but why not just enjoy the ride? We’re only here in this present moment for right now and we’re never going to get it back.. so why not just sit back, smile, and thank God for whatever jobs, people, activities, sights and just anything that you have right now.
 
Dream about what you want, then pray about it and go after it. If it’s meant to be, it will be in the right time. Sometimes you have to be super patient, and sometimes it’ll happen right away. Regardless, don’t give up hope. Have faith that you’ll end up where you’re meant to right when you need to.
 
I’m a dreamer. I’ve got big dreams to write a book, own my own store one day, and have a happy marriage with a few kids with a cute little house in the country somewhere. A porch of course to sit on and watch the sunrise on one side and  the sunset on the other. One day, maybe. You’ve gotta write down your dreams so they seem real, so that’s what I do.
 
Life’s not all about having it all figured out. It’s messy, it’s hard, it’s fun, it’s challenging, but it’s good. You’ll get some bumps and bruises, you’ll get turned down for a job, you’ll get a job, you’ll have your heart broken, and you’ll fall head over heels for someone after you swore you’d never love again. You’ll drift away from people, you’ll make lifelong friendships, and you’ll see sights you wish you could see again and again. That’s the beauty in it, it’s unpredictable and exciting all at once. Embrace it, because it’s your life. You’re important and you deserve the absolute best. Don’t settle for something less than what you deserve because you’re tired of waiting for the right thing to come along. Be patient, have heart, and don’t worry about it if you’re grown up but you still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up. We get older everyday and age is just a number. I’m more grown up now than I was when I started writing this post, and guess what? I still don’t have it all figured out and it'll probably always be a work in progress.

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